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MOMENT OF TRUTH
They say it's lonely at the top, in whatever you do
You always gotta watch motherfuckers around you
Nobody is invincible, no plan is foolproof
We all must meet our moment of truth
These are the opening lines by Guru in “Moment of Truth” by Gang Starr.
Actions have reactions don’t be quick to judge. You may not know the hardships people don't speak of.
It's best to step back, and observe with couth. For we all must meet our moment of truth.
Sometimes you gotta dig deep, when problems come near. Don't fear things get severe for everybody everywhere! Why do bad things happen, to good people? Seems life is just a constant battle between good and evil.
This blog is dedicated to my brother from another mother Simon Højbjerg, who made me understand and appreciate this life style by being who he is.
My Moment of Truth
I have been back in Denmark for about a year. In the beginning you don’t even know what it means. You are too busy setting up your new life, making a home, meeting friends and enjoying the new adventures.
I was very happy coming back to Denmark. I felt a lot of the tension within me I was experiencing in Malta got washed away. I started noticing little things in my daily life. I specifically remember a moment at the local supermarket where a little girl was playing hide and seek with her mother. It moved something in me. I stopped a moment and realized what life is about and smiled to myself.
I am not going to dig into the lyrics above and what they mean to me but feel free to study them yourself...
I want to share my moment of truth which I am facing after being back in Denmark for one year. In October 2011 I made up my mind and became a full time poker pro. Till that point I was playing a lot of poker but not systematically and not with the proper mindset I possess now.
Alone & Lonely is not the same
Life as a pro poker player can be lonely. However don’t mistake lonely with being alone. I like being alone. I got my own routines and I don’t have to answer to anyone. I enjoy my own company and always have.
If you are unhappy about your situation you can either sit home and whine about it on Facebook or go places and make changes. I decided to go places and try different things to improve myself and my surroundings.
I realize that regardless where you go in the world personal success is usually measured in two ways: having a good job and a nuclear family – a beautiful wife and kids what more can you ask for really? Your life gets meaning when you get kids. It gets a purpose or at least you get a function. You become a provider for your family and you portray yourself that way. Its a honorable thing to do.
We humans normally strive to find a partner and start a family once we feel mature enough to handle it or in some cases when we forgot to wear a condom. Some guys might deny this and say they rather be single the rest of their lives to have sex with as many girls as possible but trust me they are lying to themselves.
I am single and I play poker. It is a very uncommon life style and I have decided that as long this is the case I intend to travel and experience the world. The past year I have been in London, Helsinki, Malta 3 times, Sweden, Estonia, Las Vegas twice, Los Angeles and currently I am living in Brisbane Australia. This might seem extraordinary but its not new to me to be honest. My life has been like this since I was 21 and decided to move to Malta. Am I blessed? Hardly. I Don’t believe in that stuff. Am I happy? Yes! A bit restless? Probably... Drunk? Not right now... Horny? Its too hot here to move a muscle so don't even have to answer that...
Work, Eat, Watch TV & Sleep
I discovered this is what people do in Denmark 8-9 months a year. I realized after moving back to Denmark and the summer was over that people rarely step outside their routines. Most of my friends in Copenhagen live with their girlfriends and enjoy the good ‘married life’. Most weekends are planned 3 weeks ahead and meeting up seems difficult. I am not complaining and I am not saying I have boring friends. They are just busy and I am just saying like it is. People have their life and I have mine. I wish the two were more combined and I will make an effort make that happen. It is just just difficult since Friday and Saturday evening are the best days to play poker and the only days people go out...
I personally barely have any routines in my life and I only have the ones I decide on. If I chose Monday is my day off it is. Should I decide to only wear purple shirts and green shorts on Wednesdays I can. If I want to drink a bottle of vodka Tuesday 1 pm listening to Polish rap I can do so however it is yet to happen.
If I wish to jump on a plane two days from now there is nothing that will prevent me from doing so. This lifestyle is very hard for people to understand - even for me! But it has been my life for a while now and I enjoy it. My migraines are gone and even though poker can be an evil bitch to wake up to in the morning she seems to suit my needs.
I feel like I could write 10 pages on this topic but the blog is already too long as it is. I am just going to say for now that I am strongly considering getting a second flat in Malta and live between Copenhagen and Malta. I realize that in a warmer climate people are more social. Danes are social in summer but I want to live all year around.
It might be in my head and I might be wrong but I will consider this option since there is nothing I enjoy more after a long session of poker to meet up with friends and be social. Spending 8 months in front of the computer screen mixed with my TV screen at home won’t be fulfilling. Copenhagen still has spring to prove me wrong so let’s see what happens. I also intend to be more frequently in Aarhus where some of my best mates live and now that my lovely mom bought me a computer screen I can work from Aarhus as well.
Thanks for listening