STOPPED BY THE POLICE

Tuesday evening I was told to stop by the police. Yes you heard me right! An uniformed officer asked me if I had been drinking? You might be thinking “since when is it illegal to play poker drunk?” and so the story began...

I bought a Vespa scooter Monday. I have for a long time struggled with a rare decease in my foot preventing me from exercising and bicycling so I figured a Vespa would be handy in Copenhagen due to the fact that having a car on Vesterbro would be too complicated.

I drove the scooter to work Tuesday and I think I broke the law 3 or 4 times on my short trip. It takes roughly 35 min. to walk and I have enjoyed the walks but since I am usually going home from the office between 3 am - 5 am it is nice to get home fast in this cold weather. Also getting asked 5 times every night if I am looking for some 'putang' by African women is getting old.

Tuesday I had a long and tough poker session. I got aces cracked 4 times all-in pre-flop so I was running bad. When I was done playing I decided to study the law for scooters.

I had to find out which special rules apply for scooters. Moreover I had to find a legal route from the office to my flat. Despite the short distance it is not as simply as you might think. Copenhagen is a maze of one-way streets, illegal turns, bus lanes and streets only accessible to busses. 

I found what I was looking for and headed home for the first time on my new ‘bike’. As I pulled up to a stop light I noticed the car in front of me started crossing the street when the light was still red. I glanced at the back of the car and the roof and quickly noticed it was a police car. As a former experienced graffiti artist you can spot a police car 5 miles away so at this distance it was a piece of cake. Why would it start driving when it was red? I felt something was wrong.

As the lights turned green I started driving. The police car had changed lane and was driving very slow. At the next stop light it pulled up next to me, an officer rolled down the window and asked me to pull over. It didn’t please me since the spot he pointed out was on an closed off exit lane only allowing me toturn right where I was suppose to go straight.

The officer stepped out and asked me if it was a new scooter? He continued to ask if I had been drinking? I explained it was my first trip and that I was coming straight from work. The funny thing was I could not manage to get my helmet off so I could not get my head phones out which meant while I was having a conversation with the officer I had Wu Tang Clan blasting rap in ears going “WU TANG CLAN AIN’T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH”. I had to make an effort not to laugh at the funny incident.

He told me that I had appeared to be drunk. I was a bit confusedd until he asked if there was something wrong with my turn-lights since I was blinking in all directions a minute ago. I had to admit to the officer that the lights were tilting me. It was easy to blink but to stop blinking was harder as it would usually go from blinking left to right and right to left. The level in the middle was just as hard to find as a women’s g-spot so it would take a few tries before you got it right.

The officer said he trusted me and told me he thought it was a nice scooter and wished me a nice evening. If I had managed to take off my helmet he might even have kissed me on my cheek so nice he was....

Seconds later I made sure the police car was out of sight when I ignored the exit lane rules to get home faster. I felt it was a fair move seeing I got pulled over and there was no other traffic.

When I got home I started laughing and felt like an outlaw on my bike. It is nice to live in a capital knowing that the police has time to pull me over for 'extensive scooter blinking' since it makes me believe no other major crimes were taking place in my neighborhood.

Merry Xmas,

Erik